Absolutism Rap (WAP Parody with Louis XIV and Peter the Great - Warm Water Records) AP Euro

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Louis XIV and Peter the Great team up for a WAP parody rap about their exploits during the Age of Absolutism. I hope that AP Euro students (past and present) enjoy this!

This is a cover of WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion
Beat Credit: Produced by Dices
Versailles Photos: Portraits by Holly
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(There's some royals in this house)
(There's some royals in this house)

I said, certified king
Look at all that bling
Ab-so-lutely
Nobles kissing my ring
woo
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, I’m ruling France so ab-so-lutely
Got no time for Huguenots
Ruling ab-so-lutely
All this sovereignty I got
Ruling ab-so-lutely

In the Fronde, nobles tried to charge
Shut ‘em down it wasn’t hard
At Versailles, built a new place
I run up debts like a credit card
Take a tour, come on inside
The Hall of Mirrors, it’s tall and wide
Nobles flock by my bedside
They all want favors I won’t provide
Protestants, y’all better hide
Tol-er-A-tion is denied
I want all the HU - GUE - NOTS to
Disappear like some sort of mirage
Did ballet, legs so lean
I wear tights, not blue jeans
Greatest king France has seen
Louis le Grand
You can call me Sun King
(ayy, ayy)

Peter the Great, Russian Tsar
Might’ve heard of me
Warm Water Port, yeah
That’s what I’d like to see
European Tour
going west, wanna come with me?
I’d sooner die
‘Fore I have a noble running me
Shave that beard, show me them lips
Better grab a hammer
‘cause I’m building ships
‘cause he’s building ships
Sail ‘em down the river
In the Azov campaign
Turks couldn’t hold the place
after I came
I got a Warm Water Port
Ruling ab-so-lutely
I wear French fashions in my court
Ruling ab-so-lutely
Yes, that’s me in that book you’re readin’
Ruling ab-so-lutely
Defeated Charles XII of Sweden
Ruling ab-so-lutely

When it comes to kings, I ain’t mediocre
In Western Europe, I’m the power broker
Dutch Republic, I’ma run you over
With English allies, Treaty of Dover
Charles needed money,
he was indebted
All those mistresses,
Ruined his credit
Nobles with swords? I ain’t sympathetic
I make new nobles, and they ain’t genetic
Get me some art, make it Baroque
Edict of Nantes, I’ma revoke
I want ONE KING ONE LAW ONE FAITH
That’s what I said you can quote
My war game is fire, The Spanish Succession
The Grand Alliance don’t like my aggression
They thought they could win
but they couldn’t outshine me
Go to Utrecht and now they wanna sign me,
woo

Westernizing Russia with-out ceas-in’
Taxing beards, revenue I’m rec-EIV-in’
Orthodox Church,
The religion I believe in
When I lose a battle,
I’ll go back and give a beatin’
Locked up my sis,
‘Cause I didn’t need her
When I break a glass,
I’m a culture leader
Absolute is my demeanor
I could make you die before I ever meet ya
If you don't hang, make my axe clang
You rebelled against me? Hope you like pain
If you come to Russia wonder, "Whose is it?"
Pay my city a visit, where I spelled my name
Ah

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, we out here ruling ab-sol-utely
Got no time for Huguenots
Ruling ab-so-lutely
All this sovereignty we got
Ruling ab-so-lutely
A patriarch there is not
Ruling ab-so-lutely
Traitors heads, watch ‘em drop
Ruling ab-so-lutely
Our wars don’t STOP, STOP, STOP
Ruling ab-so-lutely
Feudalism this is not
Ruling ab-so-lutely,
huh

(There's some royals in this house)
(There's some royals in this house)
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